(77) What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting

Title: What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting: How to Support Your Wife, Save Your Marriage, and Conquer Infertility! by Marc Sedaka
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing Inc
189 pages
Genre: non-fiction - infertility - surrogacy, ivf, adoption


Tips and advice from a man who’s been there, for the six million couples struggling to get pregnant.

Marc Sedaka stood by while he and his wife endured endless rounds of drug therapies, sixteen artificial inseminations, ten in-vitro fertilizations, three miscarriages, and, finally, a gestational surrogate (“womb for rent”) who carried their twin girls to term. He was as supportive and loving as he could be, but he really wished he’d had a book like What He Can Expect When She’s Not Expecting during the process. Most books about dealing with infertility are geared toward women, leaving the man to his own devices when it comes to comfort and encouragement (never a good idea). With the help of his own infertility doctor, Sedaka provides straightforward guy-friendly advice on situations such as:
  • What questions you should ask at the consultations.
  • How to help rather than annoy.
  • What kinds of tests you and your wife should expect.
  • How to console a wife who appears inconsolable.
  • How to enjoy procreation sex.
Review: This is a great book.  It really explains the infertility testing process and IVF in laymans terms and with humor.  It lets men know what they are in for without having to ask the doctor or feeling like they are the only ones experiencing these hormonal ups and downs.  One of the best sentences is when he explains how guys may want kids, but women need kids, and while this may not be true for all men and women, those going through the rigorous process of infertility are certain to have this ring true.  

Marc uses his own experiences to help guide men around and through pitfalls that he and many others have encountered.  Using sports metaphors and eliminating most of the scientific and gross descriptions this book could be very helpful to any man helping his wife through the infertility process.  There is a little bit at the end about other options for forming your family egg donation, embryo donation, gestational surrogacy and adoption.