AUDIO BOOK REVIEW: Miss Memory Lane by Colton Haynes

Publication Date: May 31, 2022 Format: Audio Genre:  Memoir  Narrators: Colton Haynes

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio Length: 6 hours 22 min Buy: Kindle | Audio

Synopsis

Four years ago, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost the sight in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatry hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday.

As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time in years and with that, discovered profound self-awareness. He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him. But what would they think if they knew his true story? If they knew where he came from and the things he had done?

Now, Colton bravely pulls back the curtain on his life and career, revealing the incredible highs and devastating lows. From his unorthodox childhood in a small Kansas town, to coming to terms with his sexuality, he keeps nothing back.

By sixteen, he had been signed by the world’s top modeling agency and his face appeared on billboards. But he was still a broke, lonely, confused teenager, surrounded by people telling him he could be a star as long as he never let anyone see his true self. As his career in television took off, the stress of wearing so many masks and trying to please so many different people turned his use of drugs and alcohol into full-blown addiction.

Review: 

Wow what a book.  Colton Haynes had a rough childhood, and his self esteem took a dive because of it. Although he has been in some very popular shows his past trauma's still haunted him.  Doomed to repeat his parents mistakes Colton has taken some very important steps toward healing.  

The story of his childhood was tragic and hard to listen to - his desperate need for love and willingness to sell his body for attention. I think what brought me to my knees though was when he started rattling off all the trauma that had happened to him and stating he was drunk when.... I could almost hear the desperation in his voice, it really sounded like he was going to break down in the reading of this book during that part and it was then that I really connected with him. The feelings of his unworthiness and longing for acceptance and love. It broke my heart.

Colton never hid that he was gay from anyone except when he became famous. Then was told not to come out, but the lie started to eat away at him and against advice came out publicly. After he came out jobs dried up and once again he was left feeling like he was only appreciated for his looks and his body. 

I don't think I will watch any of his shows through the same lens again.  I appreciate him so much more now and the vulnerability he shows in this book particularly toward the end make me tear up for the loss of his childhood, the loss of his innocence and the things he felt he had to do to survive.  However I am also in awe of what he was able to accomplish without really any parental help, he survived.  He not only survived but thrived up until his past caught up with him and it was either deal with it or die. I'm very glad he chose life. 

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