Publication Date: October 4,
2022
Format: Kindle
Genre: LGBTQ+, Memoir
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Publisher: Harper One
Length: 306 pages
Buy: Kindle | Paperback
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Synopsis
Jessi Hempel was raised in a seemingly picture-perfect, middle-class
American family. But the truth was far from perfect. Her father was
constantly away from home, traveling for work, while her stay-at-home mother
became increasingly lonely and erratic. Growing up, Jessi and her two
siblings struggled to make sense of their family, their world, their
changing bodies, and the emotional turmoil each was experiencing. And each,
in their own way, was hiding their true self from the world.
By the time Jessi reached adulthood, everyone in her family had come out:
Jessi as gay, her sister as bisexual, her father as gay, her brother as
transgender, and her mother as a survivor of a traumatic experience with an
alleged serial killer. Yet coming out was just the beginning, starting a
chain reaction of other personal revelations and reckonings that caused each
of them to question their place in the world in new and ultimately
liberating ways.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher through netgalley.com
I am leaving this review voluntarily
This is what happens when people are shamed or judged, they hide, they keep
secrets and they don't talk. This is one of the reasons I refuse to keep
quiet about how our daughter died, she died of a drug overdose, it wasn't
pretty, but she came from a family who loved her and tried their best. When
we stop judging and start listening and start sharing the things we think we
should be ashamed of we realize that so many others are going through
similar things and we get support we feel seen and then we don't feel
ashamed.
This book shows just how damaging secrets can be. I'm sure Jessi is
glad that her parents got married otherwise she wouldn't be here but the
cost of her fathers secret was her mothers happiness and it exacerbated her
depression. The cost of her mothers depressions was Jessi and her siblings
being emotionally neglected, which led to issues for all of the
children.
Secrets are toxic and Jessi used the pandemic to connect with her family and
really dive into what happened and how it affected them all. It is a
honest book, at times funny, at times sad, but overall the honesty is what
got me. When she divulged that she read her brothers journal when he
was in college I gasped but then she told him and I felt relieved that that
was one more secret that wouldn't carry on through time.
This is definitely a complicated family with so many different things going
on, its amazing that they survived still talking and helped out with this
memoir. It gives me hope that by sharing her hard truths about her family
she will inspire others to share their secrets.
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